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Fuck. I just can't shake this feeling. It's like, "Hi, I'm a giant bucket of suck! Nice to meet you!"

Jesus. I need a hug. Or half a bottle of wine. Or something.

Meh. I get paid on Friday so to cheer myself up I'm going to splurge on a pair of new jeans. Like really great jeans that I can wear every other day and feel amazing in. I've been so self-conscious about my stomach and my body in general that I think I need a new article of clothing to boost my confidence.

I'm thinking something like ....

Slim Fit Jeans (tinted vintage)

Low Rise Boot Cut (tinted authentic)

Slim Fit Jeans (whiskered faded)

I'll have to wander around the Gap for a while and find a pair that fit amazing. I'm thinking I may go with a straight leg as opposed to a flare or bootleg just because I can cuff them if need be. I need a pair of jeans that make my legs look even longer and my ass fan-tab-u-lous. That is the plan.

I need to purchase a new swim suit too but I'm not sure if I'm up to the challenge. I want a boyleg halter bathing suit but I'm unsure about how difficult something like that will be to find in the mall. I need something that will make me feel amazing about myself because things are lacking sooo bad in the esteem department today.

Yea, whenever I'm sad I always resort to shopping even though it's only ever a temporary fix. It's the story of my life, seriously. I guess shopping is a little better than drinking myself into a numb and damaged stupor.

Tonight I'm going to continue feeling sorry for myself and milk this mild depression for all it's worth. I tend to work better when I'm aggitated. I'm like fleece in the process of felting: just get me a little angry and my fibres will fuse together so strong that I make felt!

(And I can't believe I just wrote that. Haha)

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