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I'm kind of going at half-pace today. I woke up late and it took me like an hour to get to myself out of bed. Obviously a sign that I need to catch up on some sleep. I can't believe that it's the end of the week already. I have an exam and three major critiques next week, followed by a research presentation and another critique the following week and then the semester is overwith! This term has gone by so fucking fast and I'm really bummed about it. It seems that whenever I really start getting into something, it gets swiped away from me before I have a chance to really explore it. Not this time though. No sir.

Once the semester is overwith, Dad is going to help me turn my work table into a sewing/printing table (cork layers and canvas and everything) and I'm going to take a run down to the screenprinting place and have a screen custom made for me. I'm going to be able to print this summer, that's the goal. I may not have access to photo emulsion and lightbox tables all of the time but at least I'll have a screen and some pigments around to really make some use of myself when I'm not working part-time. I will become a master at paper (mylar) stencils and you will all be amazed! I'm even going to cunningly swipe readymade pigments from the studio since they're much better off with me than in the garbage.

This week, while it's been going super fast, is turning out really great. All that lack of self-confidence I was suffering through last week has pretty much disappeared (thank you Mrs. P for finally starting!) so I'm back to my non-bloated and non-whiney self again. It's weird because my actual period I can handle--sure the cramps make me want to die but that's what excessive painkiller consumption is all about--but it's that week before hand that really gets me down. I've been through it for over ten years now so you'd think I'd be used to it but no. It's like every month I'm caught by surprise. Oh well, shit like that makes life a little more interesting, I guess.

Good things about this week:

♥ I started embroidering my first quilt and it's a lot easier than I expected it to be. I think this means I'll be making quilts (amongst other things) this week.

♥ On Tuesday night I went out to a bar and felt very bad ass because I was drinking on a school night.

♥ And I found $20 on the floor in the bathroom stall!

♥ I got to hold hands with a boy and we even kissed by the train station! This entire thing makes me feel like I'm fourteen years old, completely clueless and naive when I know I'm not. For the last six months I've been fucking around with myself and with the emotions of other people just because I didn't know how to deal with a number of life-changing/traumatic things that happened in my life, but now I think I'm ready to stop fucking around. It's a scary feeling but the good kind of scary.

As one of my coworkers told me last night, "Now you're the one who has to be vulnerable." Man, I'm not used to that.

Yea, this week has been pretty fun. Very busy, but fun. I'm going to spend today attempting to completely finish my Art History prep research for my exam next week so I don't have to fuss with it anymore. But if that gets boring, I'll probably just hang out next to the stereo and quilt. I'm such an old lady. Haha.

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