I'm not exactly sure why, but I sent him an e-mail apologizing for my actions during the last three months. For weeks I have been playing the victim to his villian when I had the entire thing all wrong. This was no one's fault and while he did go about things in an inappropriate way, I shouldn't crucify him because of it.
I don't know if he'll respond to it. I guess I just wanted to let him know that I'm not angry anymore and that I'm sorry for any pain I caused him. I really want him in my life again because the thought of him completely disappearing breaks my heart even more. Eventually, I hope that we can be friends again. He's too great of a person for me to keep hating.
Today feels like I've finally let go of so much. While I'm still just as confused as I was three months ago, I know I'm in a better place where I can finally breathe. Maybe this is a sign that I can get the rest of my life in a somewhat managable order.