Fuck. I just can't shake this feeling. It's like, "Hi, I'm a giant bucket of suck! Nice to meet you!"
Jesus. I need a hug. Or half a bottle of wine. Or something.
Meh. I get paid on Friday so to cheer myself up I'm going to splurge on a pair of new jeans. Like really great jeans that I can wear every other day and feel amazing in. I've been so self-conscious about my stomach and my body in general that I think I need a new article of clothing to boost my confidence.
I'm thinking something like ....
♥ Slim Fit Jeans (tinted vintage)
♥ Low Rise Boot Cut (tinted authentic)
♥ Slim Fit Jeans (whiskered faded)
I'll have to wander around the Gap for a while and find a pair that fit amazing. I'm thinking I may go with a straight leg as opposed to a flare or bootleg just because I can cuff them if need be. I need a pair of jeans that make my legs look even longer and my ass fan-tab-u-lous. That is the plan.
I need to purchase a new swim suit too but I'm not sure if I'm up to the challenge. I want a boyleg halter bathing suit but I'm unsure about how difficult something like that will be to find in the mall. I need something that will make me feel amazing about myself because things are lacking sooo bad in the esteem department today.
Yea, whenever I'm sad I always resort to shopping even though it's only ever a temporary fix. It's the story of my life, seriously. I guess shopping is a little better than drinking myself into a numb and damaged stupor.
Tonight I'm going to continue feeling sorry for myself and milk this mild depression for all it's worth. I tend to work better when I'm aggitated. I'm like fleece in the process of felting: just get me a little angry and my fibres will fuse together so strong that I make felt!
(And I can't believe I just wrote that. Haha)